You Keep Making Me Ill
by Luhlia
Summary: COMPLETE AU. Minako muses over her certain addiction to Akihiko. It isn't healthy but she can't stop. She needs him.


**DISCLAIMER:**I do not own Persona 3 Portable.

**A/N:** This is sort of a preview or trial for my upcoming new fanfic (not the P3P/P4 crossover I have posted over my profile). My muse won't let the idea rest until I write this so I got distracted from doing Twist. This is a complete AU so there's no such thing as personas or shadows here.

**Plot**** Overview: **Minako is a transfer student who was a perfect girl turned delinquent after a tragic incident happens. When she starts attending Gekkoukan Akihiko gradually takes an interest in her. [You have to read the actual multi-chaptered fic once it gets published to know more.]

**SUMMARY: **Minako muses on her certain addiction to Akihiko.

*They're already ah...doing each other here.

CONTAINS SEXUAL THEMES AND SWEARING.

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><p><em>And I swear you're just like a pill<em>

_Instead of making me better_

_You keep making me ill_

_You keep making me ill_

-Just like a Pill by Pink

**You Keep Making Me Ill**

I'm not supposed to be here I know. This is Shinjiro's turf. But I don't care. Shinjiro can throw a fit all he wants but I won't stop coming here. I like it here. The wind feels nice and nobody comes here a lot. Everyone knew that the school rooftop is Shinjiro Aragaki's territory. They steer clear out of his way because they're all scared of him. Except me, and Akihiko, and Mitsuru.

I put the cigarette in my mouth. Inhale. Puff out. Inhale. Puff out. One of the reasons I like staying over the rooftop is because it's the only place where I can smoke freely without getting caught.

The door opens and its not Shinjiro who comes in but Akihiko. He knew I would be here but he didn't expect I would be smoking if his facial expression indicates anything. He looks at the stick on my fingers with distaste.

Truthfully I don't smoke a lot. I just do it whenever I need to calm my nerves. And right now I really need to do this badly. Shit happens. I roll my eyes at him and continue. He can say whatever he wants but he won't be able to dissuade me in doing whatever I want. Akihiko sits beside me.

"You're smoking again."

I smile at him.

"And skipping."

I shrug. We've had this conversation before and there's nothing new. I blow a circle of smoke upwards and he watches as it dissipate.

"You can't use up all your luck and expect Mitsuru to always overlook your actions and not let the school expel you. You know they can do that. You should at least attend class."

I frown.

"I haven't finished the Math work they gave me. I can't go to class and tell them I haven't done it, can I?"

Akihiko sighs. And we both know that I got him there. Now he'd do anything to _help_me, like doing my Math work for me. As always.

"I'll help you do it later." He says. And like I said it translates to: I'll do it for you.

I smile and put out the cigarette by stubbing it on the ground. I look at Akihiko.

"Sweet."

I lift myself off the bench and sit on his lap straddling him. This catches him off guard but his hands immediately fly to hold me on my waist so his puzzlement is only for a moment. I don't let him recover enough though. I dip my head to his neck and kiss my way upwards to whisper in his ear.

"I guess I'll swing by your apartment later then."

I can hear his labored breathing and feel his fingers dig hard on my waist. I'm sure he knows I'm just baiting him here on the rooftop but it's too much fun to tease Aki that I can't help myself do it every time I get the opportunity.

"If it were up to me I'd give you a great time here, right now. Much better than yesterday at the Home Economics room. But you won't kiss me now because I taste like smoke."

I smile at him coyly. Aki, always the fighter, responds.

"Don't think you could sway me with that. I'm still going to escort you at the guidance office's door later so I won't let you ditch last period too."

I rip the candy that I've been toying with earlier from it's wrapper in front of Aki's eyes that he looks at me suspiciously. I push open his lips and put the candy on his mouth. Before he could even voice a protest or say anything I kiss him.

I nip and suck his lower lip. When he opens his mouth I quickly plunge my tongue inside and search for the candy. We play with it inside his mouth, our tongues battling for dominance. He's so into it that I ground my hips hard on his to create distraction. Aki groans. I smirk against his lips and take the candy from him and withdraw. Akihiko stares at me half-dazed and I lick my lips.

I stand up.

"See you later Aki."

I walk down the stairs of the rooftop feeling accomplished. Now that'll get him off my back. He doesn't need to escort me to the guidance office. I'll go there myself later. But for the meantime I'm thinking of gracing Mr. Ekoda with my presence. Maybe this time he'll actually pull his hair out in frustration. I grin.

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><p>After three knocks Akihiko opens the door and I waltz inside without a word. I head straight towards his room and take off my shirt and skirt in front of his bed leaving me with just my underwear. There is no need to be ceremonious about it since it's been like a routine. Akihiko leans on the door of his room staring at me.<p>

"Shouldn't we do your Math requirement first?"

I pull him towards me until the back of my knee hits the side of his bed. I drag my hands up and down his torso to feel his damn nice muscles. I capture his eyes.

"Let's do that later. It's you I want right now."

I kiss him and it doesn't take much to convince him. We fall into his bed with his hands all over me.

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><p>I scream his name again and again and again in between moans. Aki. Aki. Aki. Aki. Aki. Like it's a lifeline. And maybe it is and he has strung me up without me knowing when it's supposed to be the other way around. I'm supposed to be the one leading him on the nose.<p>

He thrusts into me harder, faster, deeper it feels so good and I want more. His hands, his mouth, his tongue, and his touch I can't get enough of it I feel like I'm getting crazier. Aki moans my name in turn and it's so guttural and so needy that I bask in it.

It's amazing. Aki is amazing. Sex with Aki…_fucking_Aki is amazing. It's too different from all those boys from before. Those moments were a blur, like vapor. But every minute with Aki is so clear and sharp that it's blinding. I'm actually here and everything registers and I can feel. Really feel. Something. Inside. There is so much I _can_ feel that it's like emotion overdrive.

Emotion Overdrive, it's like a high only it's not from weed or drug or alcohol but something brought about by Aki. The first time I felt it I panicked that I almost wanted to run away from him in the middle of a hot climactic session. I felt like I was being tossed by the waves of a vast ocean I didn't know what to do. I can't run. I can't swim. I can't hide. I can't do anything but struggle hopelessly against the waves. I felt so lost. And then euphoric. I tried to avoid Aki after that but then I started wanting and needing and longing the high I get from it. It drove me in a mad frenzy and I was glad that Aki was more than delighted to indulge me. Ever since then I've developed an addiction to Aki.

I take Aki's face in my hands and he lowers his head to meet my lips in a kiss. I meet his wild thrusts and it doesn't take long before I feel myself spasm in pressure and finally come. One, two, three thrusts and Aki follows shortly. He collapses beside me and he brings me close to his chest and wraps his arms around me. He stares at me with eyes full of something that I don't want to name because I know it will definitely haunt me.

"I love you." He says.

I don't feel breathless, quite the opposite actually. There's too much air. I breathe in. And I know I'm inhaling too fast and too much but I can't stop. Damn I can't stop. I feel like I'm drowning from air.

It's not the first time he said it. Actually the first time he said it I felt something drop from my chest to my stomach and churn. Then the second time something fluttered. The third time it felt nice. And then the next I felt warm, but coldness crept in almost immediately. After that I hated it whenever he says it because I feel every kind of whirling emotion from it that I can't pick them apart. It scares me.

I know he wants me to say it too but I can't and I won't. It's complicated and stupid.

I stare back and force myself to give him a small smile albeit fake.

Akihiko gives me a kiss in the forehead as if he knew he isn't going to get anything out of me. It's probably the reason why I keep him. He gives me too much and I keep stealing more.

I lean my head on Aki's shoulder and bury my face on the crook of his neck. I snuggle against his warmth and put my hand over his chest where I can sense the throb of his heart. It gives me an assurance that he's alive and real. Not a cooked out delusion of my deranged mind.

Yes, I'm almost _that _ill.

I swear I don't particularly like what happens to me when I'm with Akihiko because I feel like I'm becoming worse, more selfish, more conceited and filled with poison. He drives me sicker and desperate. He makes me want to take and take and take until there's nothing left. But I don't stop. I can't stop. I'm not even sure if I want to.

Maybe one day, when I finally snap (again), I'll bring him down with me. But it'd be too bad because he deserves better than that. So, I'll just probably throw him at Mitsuru. Or make Shinjiro pick him up.

Right.

Fuck it.

Akihiko was never part of the plan.

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><p><strong>AN:**Minako doesn't do drugs or weed here, she's just giving comparisons. This was roughly written because it's some kind of experiment whether I'll capture a voice of a cynical Minako. So, what do you all think?

Also, just so you know this idea came up from reading the novel Cracked Up To Be by Courtney Summers and watching Effy Stonem episodes of Skins.

Please Review.


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